my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
