Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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