Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
