nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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