I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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