I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
