just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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