Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I need to align my fucking chakras
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
