She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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