$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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