MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
