I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
