Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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