Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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