O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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