Well apparently he's into motor boating.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
