the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
