We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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