Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
