i just wanna soil my oats bro
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
