you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
