The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
