don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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