that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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