Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
