Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Randomize
