Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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