i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
