Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
