My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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