I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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