She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
