he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He kissed a someone with a penis
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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