Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
