and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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