True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm sobbing to NWA
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
