Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
