Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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