You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
