I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I want to be your penis for a week.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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