it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
