I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Naked Twister starts at high noon
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
