Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
