Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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