Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
