It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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