it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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