I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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