I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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