So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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